The human disconnection that has occurred during the pandemic has touched every life. Technology helps us to connect, sure. But that flesh-and-blood, face-to-face interaction with someone as you pass them in a hallway or chat with them while you make lunch in the break room, has been removed from most of us for months at this point.

Past research indicates that social isolation and lower levels of mental health are linked, although this is a classic case where correlation is not causation (Elmer, Geschwind, Peeters, Wichers, & Bringmann, 2020). Authors of a paper published in July 2020 introduce a new term called “solitude inertia,” which I particularly like because it describes how I’ve felt during the social restrictions of the pandemic. The authors define solitude inertia as “the tendency to stay in prolonged states of being alone,” and I would argue that we have all been forced into prolonged states of being alone by way of shelter-in-place orders and the pivot to distance work and learning (Elmer et al., p. 2).

The positive piece of technological connection has been huge during this. The ability to continue doing school and therapy has been immeasurably good…otherwise I would be graduating late and probably losing my mind. Increased technology has also allowed me the chance to (re)connect with friends of mine in different states. Before the pandemic, we talked occasionally, but not a ton. Now we text throughout the week and Zoom at least once a week.

I haven’t talked to anyone during COVID-19 who hasn’t needed extra support of some kind. Isolation isn’t easy or natural. Extra support is a good thing. Asking for help sucks because admitting the need for help feels weak. What’s worse is suffering the consequences of needing help and not getting what you need. Whether that means your performance at work suffers, your relationship suffers, depression settles in, or whatever it looks like for you. Asking for help requires courage, vulnerability, and strength. We may not have a lot during a pandemic, but you have what it takes to ask for help if you need it.

Elmer, T., Geschwind, N., Peeters, F., Wichers, M., & Bringmann, L. (2020). Getting stuck in social isolation: Solitude inertia and depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Psychology. (Supplemental)